The Way is intelligent in IT S elf

 

Thanks to all who took time to read
and comment and message
over these past few days.
I can't explain the whole scenario
about what's happening
with my mom since my dad died
and what the fall-out is all about.
I'm still trying to work that out myself
and for half a year, that's been internalising
and going through a lot of triggered past traumas
.
There were things I couldn't fathom
the lack of Love
the use of deception
the stealth attacks
the threats and disinformation
the character assassinations
being completely cut off and excommunicated
the false invitation to come and take care of Mom
the bastardised Power of Attorney
the attempts to have me arrested
the attempts to coerce my mom to get me arrested
the eventual kidnap
the dodgy cops
the dodgy profession of solicitors
there's way to much to explain to anyone
and its all too late
it was in february
when they chained the tree to the gate
there's nothing much that anyone can do
my mom made her life choices, throughout her life
as we all do, accumulating calamity,
hind-sight is always too late
I've posted a little lately, for better or worse
just to overcome my own gas-lit fears
I'm not trying to draw anyone else into a fight
I'm not wanting to have sides taken
I am posting somewhat now
in the strange circumstance of being trolled
and spied-upon by ill-intent
every word "to be used as evidence against you"
and the strange thing is
these siblings must now read what I write
and I have no need to fear
it's not illegal to be sensitive
it's not illegal to perceive differently
There's no war than can be won
There's a Source for all shadows
but shadows can't sustain themselves
We all project our cinema-film-drama
Most of our projection is sourced in subconscious
most are not conscious of their subconscious
There was a lot of emotional suppression in Ireland
when I was a child, a lot of emotion was suppressed
expression was denied
cause was denied
pain was denied
excuses were made for my dad
my mom explained that he'd had a difficult childhood
and carried rough emotional wounds
a boy damaged by his childhood
became a father damaging his children
and this is true for all of us
we are all born into entropy
of generations recycling trauma
my dad drank alcohol as a way-out from feeling healing
my dad had an outer-persona
my dad was successful in his way
but there was a lot that was never healed
My brother Martin says my dad was an abuser
though he doesn't explain what he means by that
My brother Martin says my mom is an abuser
that she abused Martin's wife
but he doesn't explain that either
a week later my brother Martin says I'm an abuser
and that he has gone around and informed all the neighbours and relatives
He tells everyone that his dad is a narcissist
his work colleague is a narcissist
his ex-partner is a narcissist
in fact, he says he's been bullied by narcissists constantly since he was a child
my brother blames his dad for making him a coward
says he was never able to stand up to our dad
says he knows that I had been able to
but yet he tells our mom that I am a "snivelling coward"
while accusing me behind my back
My brothers have some dramatic cinema projections
playing in the shadows of their psyche
projected onto their perceptions of "reality"
reinforced concrete realities
It's all too complex, convoluted, projected and denied
its all fractions and factions and memory-perceptions
colored-in childhood feelings,
black and white sketchy frozen images
lost in perspectives
truncated, pushed-past-passed, buried, ressurrected
It's wrong what's happened with my mom
it's wrong what happened in her life
it's wrong what happened in our childhoods
it's wrong what happened in our parents childhoods
it's wrong what happened 7 generations ago
the so-called "great famine"
It's wrong, but life is wrong in so many ways
and yet, life keeps living
my life is not the worst
my parents weren't the worst
the siblings are not the worst {i'm guessing}
It's about perspectives and evolving options
most people ignore healing
most people take a pill, or a pint, a line or a bag
I chose to feel
feeling was always a big deal to me
as vital as learning to breathe deeply
cos I had athsma as a child
and deep breathing didn't come easy
and overwhelming emotions didn't flow easy
other people make other choices in other circumstances
a lot of people are too busy to conscious breathe
a lot of people can't stop for a moment
a lot of people can't handle the feeling
and don't know what to do
unless it's to be driven by subconscious drives
to steer clear of what feels queer
to drown that feeling in the safety of another beer
predictive programming - subconscious ID entities
bud-wiser
tennents
Old Peculiar
Paddy - Powers
Guinness gives you strength
Jameson
Angels with one wing
spinning out, ever further out
my siblings framed me in their cinema
disgusted with fear that our mother would
invite me and my wife and children to come
and live with her in her old age
to let her live out her life in her own home
and naturally, leave the inheritance to me and my wife and family in return for commiting to uprooting our lives,
caring and sharing and living together.
I didn't know my siblings had worked out a logic
that saw me as likely to be invited home by my mom
that therefore saw that I'd naturally deserve to inherit
in respect of giving up our life in britain
and moving back to Ireland
I didn't know that my siblings judged and feared
and thought I'd fill the place with hippies
It's taken me a long time to realise
that I been talked about in my absence
that I been sabotaged in my absence
and that my mom had kept saying
that I could be the solution for her
to stay living in her own home
I didn't know
That my brothers had kept gaslighting
That my brothers had with held mom's letters
That my brothers had told her I'd never come home to live with her, that I was too wild, to druggy, too mentally ill, too emotional, too unstable.
Well, here's a piece of poetry from 2004
"The Way is intelligent in IT Self"
Perhaps even this mess will bring a greater healing
 

  

19 May 2022

Looking around at the world,
it's plain to see that what we think of as Love
can turn to hate
what we thought we had
and turn into thinking we have lost
Its almost impossible not to have Love
become victim of entropy
and its quite a challenge to catch one self
and even more so, to turn it back around inside
to choose to rediscover the depth of Love inside
and choose to nurish the Loving feeling
to realise that Love n hate don't go hand in hand
that hate bites the hand of Love
and rage destroys the finer feelings
like pouring thick black paint over a fine line drawing
The fine line drawing is still there
beneath the rage and hate
con-fusions kick up a lot of dust
but eventually the dust settles
if one keeps the fine lines in mind
and remember before the damage was done
As a parent, I know it's tricky to let a tantrum flow
and not get caught up too much in trying to fix a problem
rather than let a problem flow and unwind itself
to explain the problem rather than feel the cause
 
Be aware of subconscious denial
Be awre that denying true feelings,
denying the uncomfortable feelings,
avoiding the unaccepted, negative, unpopulare feelings
 
means "positivity" out of balanced dynamics
means conformity to a sick society
means pushing out what is not accepted
 
the same as we do with buying from the super-markets
with all the pack-aging, plastic and waste
and thinking its OK to conform
to dumping out the remainder as rubbish
for the bin-men to collect, for the council to man-age
for the land-fill, for the recycling illusion, for coffin ships to China incinerators
 
There is a shadow-version of this environ-mental denial
There are astral planes filled with tortured feelings
There are people who receive what the Spiritual deny

https://www.facebook.com/kelfin.oberon/videos/521182829533451

That's the Veils of the id Entity being revealed…